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Blogs
Norfolk and Broads: my latest short story in the Literary Commune
"The first time I looked in Marsha’s eyes she had me pinned to the floor of the Manor House with one hand, a broken glass under my chin with the other. She had one blue eye, one green, a dirty-blonde bob and a stud through her nose; wore an Ian Wright top and black tracky bottoms with white stripes up the leg and her breath smelled of Rothmans and Baileys. It was love..." Read the rest of my short story, "Norfolk and Broads", in issue 7 (October 2015) of the mighty fine Liter
Oct 12, 2015
The Literary Commune: proper, grown-up writing
Just finished reading issue 6 of The Literary Commune and I liked it a lot. Some of the pieces here are startling: clear, weird, raw, delicate - a seething mass of contradiction. ("Embrace your contradictions", as the man said). Excellent stories that possess that elusive element, authenticity: not only detail, sentence-structure, but a between-the-lines knowingness you cannot fake. "With Relish" by Chris Dungey, "Angels, Monsters, Superheroes" (Andy Tu) and "Gate Money" by R
Sep 10, 2015
My WA Coral Coast travel feature in today's Times
"Our guide, Darren 'Capes' Capewell, deflates the tyres of our tank-like four-wheel drive but it's still a bone-jarring ride from Denham to Big Lagoon. Drifts of yellow sand cover the rough track like golden waves and the bow of the vehicle rises and dips like a floundering boat. Snake-bite, sunburn, sandfly: the one malady I hadn't expected to face in the scorched desert of the Peron Peninsula was mal de mar..." Read the rest of my latest Times travel feature in today's Time
Aug 29, 2015
Catch me on BBC Ulster's Nolan Show on Tuesday 14th July
Just recorded an interview for the Nolan Show on BBC Ulster, which I believe will be broadcast tomorrow (14th July). I was speaking on the thorny issue of sugar - taxation, graphic warnings and even a complete ban.
Jul 13, 2015
Read my short story Waterlow Sunrise in the Brits Issue of Literary Commune
Delighted to announce my short story, "Waterlow Sunrise", has been published in issue 5 of the "Literary Commune" - the Brits issue. As you can see from the contents list this is a really special issue and I'm proud to be included. The Brits issue - contents: Televisions in Heaven by Ewan Morrison Arcadia Planitia by Joe Hakim Remembrance by Jeremy Young White Field Green Sheep by Jeremy Young Funny Money by Thomas McColl Open Mic by Thomas McColl Unfolded Tongue by Yuxing Xi
Jul 3, 2015
BeautyCon and the pink temple of doom
There are 3,000 people – almost all teenage girls – attending the first ever BeautyCon London (BCL) event inside the enormous hangar that is London Olympia. Most, my 11-year-old daughter included, are quaking with excitement: there are squeals and flashes as famous YouTubers are spotted, shuddering bass sounds from the PA ratchets up the excitement. I have just one question: what's it all about? Read the rest of my Beauty Con feature at the IB Times...
May 26, 2015
Pensioners with Parents: read my feature in the IB Times
"Eileen is 93. Her husband Les passed away in January 2014 after 73 years of marriage, and so for the first time in her life this Christmas she'll wake up alone - like half a million other older people nationwide. I feel a bit guilty about Eileen - because she's my nan. Usually I see her over Christmas but this year I'm taking my own children to Australia to stay with auntie Kate - nan's daughter. Eileen's sons, Michael (my dad) and Vincent (my uncle) will be in the country b
Dec 24, 2014
My latest Huffington Post: Give Scotland Back to the Scottish
"Ever met a nice Scotsman? Me neither. I mean Armando Iannucci, Lou Macari and Wattie out of Exploited (get well soon) seem okay, though I wouldn't want to live next door to any of them, but the rest? Buckfast-slurping, sheep-stomach-scoffing, heart-attack-having, currency-stealing cry-babies. I jest, of course. I wouldn't mind having Armando, Lou, Wattie or indeed most other Scots folk living next door. In fact - that's what they do, isn't it? They live next door, our slight
Mar 19, 2014
Granddad's obituary in The Guardian
My granddad, Leslie Piggott, died last month at the age of 98. He is much loved. Really pleased to announce that today The Guardian published his obituary in its excellent "other lives" series, which I wrote as neutrally as possible – not easy... (and yes he did make all those items on the windowsill).
Feb 5, 2014
Read my review of Morrissey's "Autobiography" at the Huff
"Morrissey and I have history - albeit one-sided. Since the astonishing moment I first heard "what difference does it make" in 1983 I've thought of "The Smiths" as somehow separate: not music but an integral part of life. When asked to contribute to a collection of stories about Islington ("Down the Angel and up Holloway") I called my story "Hatful of Holloway". When asked to write about my hard journey to publication I titled the essay "this is the fierce last stand of all I
Feb 3, 2014
My latest Huffington Post blog: "Generation Breakdown?"
"My nine-year-old daughter has started taking me to task for using "wicked" as a form of praise. At 47, she explains, I'm too old to use words and phrases which are the preserve of the young. She also says the punk music I've finally worked out how to load onto the iPod is too loud. For a moment I think she's going to complain you can't hear the words. I used to listen to a lot of punk, back in 1983. I was sixteen, had left school to the dole queue, and despised older people
Jan 29, 2014
'To Live Without You Would Only Mean Heartbreak for Me'
"Nowadays I try not to judge people on appearances, even when that appearance is of a skinhead with 16-hole DMs and tattoos all over his...
Jan 27, 2014
"Why don't the banks want my money?"
"Being financially dyslexic I don't read the business sections much but have heard quite a few demands from the press and politicians that banks start lending again. Having failed my maths "O" level I have no idea whether this is a good thing or not, but then a lot about banking and finance puzzles me, such as: if I try to open a bank account, so I can pay in money, and don't want any sort of loan, why won't the banks help?" Read the rest of my latest Huffington Post here...
Oct 22, 2013
"These Authors Are Selfish, Stupid and Out of Touch..."
"Being a far-from successful author I bow to no man in my admiration for Julian Barnes, whose novels sit on the shelves of my modest two-bed maisonette in London. Each morning I walk my two kids past Mr Barnes's large detached house on our way to school; sometimes he stands in the window looking out, no doubt dreaming up his latest idea..." READ THE REST OF THIS HUFFINGTON POST HERE
Oct 4, 2013
Blimey - a mention by Ian Hislop AND the Sunday Times
A few months back, Private Eye published a letter I sent in about a hilarious cartoon (issue 1325). Then, last night, on my way home from Canary Wharf after my first weekend writing for the IB Times, what should I find in the Sunday Times diary column..? I’m not really bi-polar, by the way. Just –emotional.
Sep 30, 2013
"E, what a waste..." my latest Huff Post
"If I told you I know where you can buy a fancy new scanner-cum-printer-cum-photocopier-cum-helicopter for less than a hundred quid, you'd probably think it a bargain. But what if I were to add that after three years the damn thing will be obsolete and you'll need a new one - would it still seem a good deal?” Read the rest of my latest Huffington Post here...
Sep 18, 2013
Football - crazy?
"What's the League Cup called now? I lost track somewhere between the Coca-Cola and Milk Cup eras. As for the Europa, which would you prefer - top four in the league or a tricky second leg in Elfsborg? Come to think of it (Wigan), which would YOU prefer - FA Cup winners, or staying in the Premiership?..." Read the rest - plus my ten ideas to make football better - over at Huffington Post...
Aug 16, 2013
In Finland: Stalingrad, Success and Saturday
Kotka, Finland. Unfair, perhaps, to begin Martin Amis's "Success" right after Antony Beevor's "Stalingrad", which is staggering - the work, the dedication, the authority - and of course the subject, those vast losses on vast Steppes, that brutal, barbarous 20th C. "Stalingrad" gave me ideas - about reading Vasily Grossman, and the life of Vasily Chuikov, and in particular that pic of the young Romanian PoW, his head at a strange angle on his shoulders like someone cut it out
Jul 28, 2013
Why can't the hero of an English novel ever be "right wing"?
"When my second novel was named "book of the month" by a prestigious literary organisation three years ago, a title previously won by such luminaries as Hilary Mantel and Cormac McCarthy, I imagined there would be a corresponding boost to sales and in terms of reviews. Instead, my novel, "Out of Office", sank without trace. Not one national newspaper gave the book even a negative review; it flounders somewhere around the million mark on Amazon. My publisher, Legend, who had g
May 29, 2013
In a Huff
"If I include train fares and subsistence as well as fees, studying for my MA in Novel Writing at the University of Manchester probably cost me ten thousand pounds. I used to think it was worth it: without the guidance of fellow students, not to mention my excellent tutors, author Martyn Bedford and poet John McAuliffe, I'm not sure my first novel would ever have found a publisher. "My fellow students helped me see my work through fresh eyes, and when I rewrote "Fire Horses"
May 22, 2013
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