Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

Home page

Home page


I'm the author of three novels, “Out of Office” and “Fire Horses" (both published by Legend Press), my new comic novel "Kidology," and a collection of short stories and creative non-fiction, "Militant Factions." I've had hundreds of features and opinion pieces published in the Times, Sunday Times, Guardian, Independent, Mail, Express, Telegraph and many more.

view:  full / summary

#KidologyQuotes 97: Being on holiday with kids was a lot like being on holiday without kids, except without sleep, sex, culture, adventure or sleep, again

Posted on September 18, 2021 at 5:20 AM


#KidologyQuotes 97:

Being on holiday with kids, Jim had discovered in France - as he discovered every year then forgot - was a lot like being on holiday without kids, except without s...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 96: When he'd reached the last page of the handbook Jim looked at his watch: seventy-five minutes left

Posted on September 17, 2021 at 3:55 AM


#KidologyQuotes 96:

When he’d reached the last page of the handbook Jim looked at his watch: seventy-five minutes left. He decided to put on his emergency back-up film, “S...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 95: Jim was more and more uncertain what to do on the five hundred daily occasions they passed one another in the house

Posted on September 16, 2021 at 4:00 AM


#KidologyQuotes 95:

On his way back to his hole he passed Ingrid in the hall. Jim was more and more uncertain what to do on the five hundred daily occasions they passed one another in...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 94: George Monbiot had given him a proper pasting

Posted on September 15, 2021 at 3:55 AM


#KidologyQuotes 94:

Who did the public despise? Journalists, estate agents, bankers, politicians. He decided to try a politician. He was a bit wary of attacking anyone with Labour con...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 93: Jim plucked an essay from the teetering pile on the floor beside his desk and began to read

Posted on September 14, 2021 at 2:05 AM


#KidologyQuotes 93:

Jim plucked an essay from the teetering pile on the floor beside his desk and began to read.

“I hate my lecturer....

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 92:He'd even written to the Scientologists. They had yet to reply

Posted on September 13, 2021 at 2:50 AM


#KidologyQuotes 92:

It was freezing: Jim shivered. The still-nameless dog tensed at his side. Jim pulled hard on the lead and the dog stilled itself. Already it was obedient, a loyal ...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 91: "Do you remember what day it is, Jim?"

Posted on September 12, 2021 at 6:55 AM


#KidologyQuotes 91:

“Do you remember what day it is, Jim?”

Jim ran a response-tree in his brain: warning lights flashed. It was th...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 90: Jim surmised this would be an inopportune moment to scratch his nuts

Posted on September 11, 2021 at 4:40 AM


#KidologyQuotes 90:

The head’s eyes searched his face, dwelling in particular on his two bloodshot eyes, one of which was deep purple. Jim surmised this would be an inopportune ...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 89: "Do you ever find standardisation depressing, Ingrid?"

Posted on September 10, 2021 at 5:40 AM


#KidologyQuotes 89:

Jim pulled open the freezer-flap and dug around amid crystallised consumables until he found an oblong Tupperware filled with brown: curry, stew, Bolognese, imposs...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 88: ...their sketchy understanding of the Great War gleaned from "The Inbetweeners do Verdun"...

Posted on September 9, 2021 at 1:45 AM


#KidologyQuotes 88:

Today he was to be reacquainted with the “Group of Death”, a surly bunch with dangerous hair and metal-festooned faces, who spent the entire previous y...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 87: Jim checked his watch: twenty minutes till his lecture

Posted on September 8, 2021 at 3:35 AM


#KidologyQuotes 87:

Jim checked his watch: twenty minutes till his lecture. He liked to get to rooms early to arrange his notes, navigate the technology (which differed radically in e...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 86: He'd lost count of the number of times in the throes of passion Cato had used his bottom as a trampoline

Posted on September 7, 2021 at 2:00 AM


#KidologyQuotes 86:

The man in the pet shop had assured them the cute little kitten was a boy so Jim named him Cato, because he was like the racially stereotyped bloke off the Pink Pa...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 85:The embarrassing silence which followed was of geological length and so appalling Jim thought his face would fall off

Posted on September 6, 2021 at 2:35 AM


#KidologyQuotes 85:

Xian sighed theatrically and closed her eyes to emphasise the extent to which she was put out by such niceties, considering small talk decadent, but finally shrugg...

Read Full Post »

KidologyQuotes 84: He'd been handed a card which everyone had signed, even the lecturers and admin staff who actively disliked him

Posted on September 5, 2021 at 5:50 AM


#KidologyQuotes 84:

On leaving he'd been handed a card by Laurent which everyone had signed, even the lecturers and admin staff who actively disliked him. Amid all the scrawls and hal...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 83: "Tell us about the olden days, daddy"

Posted on September 4, 2021 at 4:15 AM


#KidologyQuotes 83:

"Tell us about the olden days, daddy."

Sometimes, to make the children laugh, Jim would tell them about the past. He press...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 82: He'd promised himself to mark essays and have an early night but instead had swallowed gallons of Merlot and watched "Breaking Bad"

Posted on September 3, 2021 at 4:45 AM


#KidologyQuotes 82:

He'd promised himself to mark essays and have an early night but instead had swallowed gallons of Merlot and watched “Breaking Bad” in the name of acad...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 81: Being in the community hall reminded Jim of that dreadful night

Posted on September 2, 2021 at 5:10 AM


#KidologyQuotes 81:

Being in the community hall reminded Jim of that dreadful night, when his audience had comprised two catatonic pensioners who volubly expressed their disappointmen...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 80: With that she shuddered and went to sleep

Posted on September 1, 2021 at 3:45 AM


#KidologyQuotes 80:

With that she shuddered and went to sleep. She looked beautiful, he thought despondently, even with her mouth half open, her eyes half-closed, a little dribble of ...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 79: Freddy was from Warminster, and not the ghetto end

Posted on August 31, 2021 at 3:10 AM


#KidologyQuotes 79:

Freddy lolled over, zips and buckles jangling, and to Jim’s horror held out his fist with the expectation he would do likewise. Freddy was from Warminster, ...

Read Full Post »

#KidologyQuotes 78: A cloud: distant thunder, White Lightning shards. Don't stand under trees...

Posted on August 30, 2021 at 4:55 AM


#KidologyQuotes 78:

“Hear about the attack last night?” smiled Kemal as he bagged Jim’s goodies. A cloud: distant thunder, White Lightning shards. Don't stand under...

Read Full Post »

Rss_feed

0