Suffolkating: the elephant in the room is the room

"Neither of the kids seems traumatised by their first day at Straddlewick; we heave sighs of relief. Then, at tooth-brush-time, Emma says Sean was called names by an older boy in the playground. After years of bliss in a vast London school, Sean is experiencing his first bully in tiny Straddlewick. Still, at least here the kids are unlikely to be exposed to an eight-year-old waving a knife belonging to the local drug-dealers in their faces, as happened once in Camden. That was a prime factor in our moving decision: the whole kids-with-knives malarkey. We were terrified at the thought of Sean being attacked for venturing into the wrong postcode, whereas out here in the country what's the worst that can happen? He'll fall into a combine harvester..."

Read the rest of my latest Suffolkating column at the Huffington Post.