Suffolkating: everybody needs good neighbours

"Following a great deal of badgering, bribery and blackmail the children allow themselves to be shown round Straddlewick primary by the deputy head and we assume from their relative silence they have no fundamental objection to being educated there. This is a relief: unlike the school at Mould-on-Flange it's non-denominational, and more important it's in the next village to our own, meaning the kids are entitled to be transported by minibus and they'll be mixing with local kids. Apart from Dead Bob Willis and his invisible wife we are yet to have any contact with the locals, who I'm sure would be very nice if we ever actually met them. Whenever I read articles by London hacks about how they went to the country and hated it because country folk are all inbred and you can't find a decent Lebanese bakery I always assume that columnist is an arse and I'm right...”

Read the rest of my latest “Suffolkating” blog at the Huffington Post