Lighter writing, and in defence of drinking

After writing two novels in just over two years, it’s a relief to attempt a screenplay. Not that it’s any easier, in fact with all the fiddly formatting it’s harder in some ways, and you have to really work on dialogue and actions in the absence of, well, anything else; but it’s not so intensive, I don’t dream about it, slide into schizo reveries, scream into the night.

The fact my screenplay’s (theoretically) a comedy helps; with (post-) modern humour you can stick in more or less anything, so long as it’s funny; the plot, consistency and politics are easily subverted and in fact the more subversion that goes on the better.

The key phrase being, of course, “so long as it’s funny”. How do you know when something’s funny? It makes you laugh. How do you know when something you’ve written yourself is funny? It makes you laugh. Not just once, but after several readings.

I can’t believe I’m reduced to quoting myself. What the hell do bloggers write about? Haven’t they got owt better to do, i.e., write? I wrote a reply to the Times yesterday but they didn’t use it. Some witless doctor was on (again) about how dangerous alcohol is.

OK doc, a few salient facts:

Approx. number of adults in UK: 40 million

Approx. number of adults in UK with “drink problem” (as defined by “experts”: 8 million

Approx. number of deaths each year from alcohol-related problems: 8,000

Approx. chances of dying from alcohol-related problems: 1 in a thousand each year

I’ll take my chances, thanks...