#KidologyQuotes 97:
Being on holiday with kids, Jim had discovered in France - as he discovered every year then forgot - was a lot like being on holiday without kids, except without sleep, sex, culture, adventure or sleep, again. This being the case, once Hettie and mother left for their round the world shindig, the days soon acquired shape. The family swam then breakfasted on the terrace; Sian watched turgid Disney movies on her tablet; Noah fell over, howled, was held, slept; Charlie vanished back to “his” room with barrels of hand-cream.
Having had most of the vicissitudes of parenting unexpectedly removed Jim and Ingrid were reduced to squabbling over who prepared lunch, although it only involved washing salad and cutting meat; during lunch (and before long, during its preparation, then pre-prep, then post-breakfast) they opened wine and beer; when the worst of the sun was over they’d swim again, eat again, then Ingrid would read some "summer read" as Jim - who burnt at the opening of a fridge - skulked indoors watching “Breaking Bad”; later, after a daily-decreasing segment of time marking witless, interminable essays and stuffing his face with creamy Camembert Jim slept in the lounger under a hairy blanket.