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#KidologyQuotes 89: "Do you ever find standardisation depressing, Ingrid?"

Updated: Dec 15, 2023

Jim pulled open the freezer-flap and dug around amid crystallised consumables until he found an oblong Tupperware filled with brown: curry, stew, Bolognese, impossible to tell. Peeling back the lid he saw purple lumps: chilli. In another container he found frozen boiled rice and sat one atop the other on the microwave’s turntable. Everything fitted; Tupperware containers, the microwave dish, packages, food itself. Prodding "Start" he sighed.

“Do you ever find standardisation depressing, Ingrid?”

As she readied herself at the table, mirror in hand, eyes half-closed, using vats of lippy, Ingrid pulled a face – he assumed.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean – the way everything just - fits. All the packets, all the models. Like – last night there were two leftover burgers after tea so I put them in one of these Tupperware boxes and I just KNEW two would fit, side by side, exactly.”

Ingrid sighed, sucked her lips: her cheeks billowed like a bull frog with a straw up its bottom.

“Thith ith a bad thing, ith it?”

“Yes, Ingrid. Yes it is.”

"FWP," said Ingrid.


"Firtht World Problemth."

Ingrid didn’t seem overtly concerned about standardisation; he supposed she had other things on her mind.


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