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#KidologyQuotes 31: The thought of John Humphries discussing his exploits was enough to give him-

Updated: Dec 16, 2023


Wondering if there might be something about the "middle class mugger" on Radio 4 Jim switched on the radio. The thought of John Humphries discussing his exploits was enough to give him the horn.

"...Six foot eight, eighteen stone paranoid schizophrenic psychopath suffering from Munchausen-by-Proxy has escaped from prison. Billy "Bastard" McNab, a convicted murderer and serial arsonist, with an almost superhuman capacity for inflicting and receiving tortuous pain of the most excruciating nature, is armed with a chainsaw and a pair of pliers. Members of the public have been warned not to approach-"

Switching off the radio Jim swallowed tea and winced: they’d been FLPs twenty years and Ingrid still couldn’t make a decent cup of tea. Why did she still think “strong” meant “less milk”? Could she not grasp that a cup of tea could be strong and milky?

“Anyway,” said Ingrid, “we should really stay in Melanie's good books until we buy her house. And I wouldn’t mind another look at her... Breakfast Bar.”

She gave him what seemed an incredibly suggestive look. Jim swallowed.

“Um - what time does it start?”


 

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