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"Being a northerner is a state of mind" my latest column in today's Sunday Express

Posted on July 1, 2018 at 5:25 AM


"When a Newcastle academic called me a southerner recently I almost choked on my mushy peas. "Tripe!" I muttered. When my wife had handed me my tripe I had to resist the temptation to kick a whippet. Then I remembered it's only Northerners who are prone to sudden acts of irrational violence; as a southerner-elect I'm above such things, and resolved instead to buy a one-bed flat for half a million and stop saying "hello" to people on the street..."

Read the rest of my column in today's Sunday Express

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