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I'm the author of three novels, “Out of Office” and “Fire Horses" (both published by Legend Press), my new comic novel "Kidology," and a collection of short stories and creative non-fiction, "Militant Factions." I've had hundreds of features and opinion pieces published in the Times, Sunday Times, Guardian, Independent, Mail, Express, Telegraph and many more.

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 47: "...You'd think he was Emperor of some Pan-Galactic Federation..."

Posted on April 17, 2021 at 4:50 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 47:

Sadly there’s no ketamine in the selection box. Having swallowed several tabs of acid Hook decides to leave work early to go to the Anne Boleyn and then on to Soho – anything, rather than face Monica ...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 46: "...A city that has at some point become strange to them..."

Posted on April 16, 2021 at 2:40 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 46:

As Hook emerges from the tube he sees the gang of youths outside the kebab shop and knows he must pass them or look weak. He tries to push by but the men murmur angrily and one pushes him in the back. Hook ignores...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 45: "London's floating on a sea of light..."

Posted on April 15, 2021 at 2:25 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 45:

There’s a weightlessness about the morning as if London’s floating on a sea of light: maybe it’s his limbs limbering up, adjusting to this new regime. For some days now Hook has abandoned watchi...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 44: "Even the word 'racist' is racist..."

Posted on April 14, 2021 at 2:40 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 44:

Hook waggles his feet at the ankles so they meet, part, meet, like Newton’s Cradles, until the balls of his big toes hurt. He answers sulkily, looking to escape. “Prof-whatever runs that estate. He...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 43: "He's being both grilled and microwaved..."

Posted on April 13, 2021 at 2:45 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 43:

“Look,” says Prof-SC, “I ain’t ashamed. I was a naughty boy, caught up in crime all my life. Blazing, shotting, marking, gettin’ in beef, repping me endz strapped, getting gripped by...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 42: "St George's flags flutter from balconies, red crosshairs and dirty whites"

Posted on April 12, 2021 at 3:15 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 42:

“While Hook waits he looks out of the one remaining see-thru window. Cars skate across flat-pack blocks, the infidel sun presses the dirty air flat. Trees in the artificial park by the fake canal opposite D...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 41: "Too early for the sun: must be another bomb..."

Posted on April 11, 2021 at 6:00 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 41:

Too early for the sun: must be another bomb.

Impossible to say whether it’s the liver-pains or the familiar crump that jerked Hook out of his dream. From his e...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 40: "Just as the plane hurtles into the White House..."

Posted on April 10, 2021 at 4:55 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 40: "Just as the plane hurtles into the White House, Hook is shanked awake by a sharp pain in the abdomen and opens his eyes on a world of fire. Orange sprites dance on the ceiling and pins of sweat puncture his forehead. He lies on his back dazed and spread-eagled...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 39: "Watching Fitma he begun to think Wilders had a point..."

Posted on April 9, 2021 at 5:10 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 39:

Watching Fitma the other night he begun to think Wilders had a point: there was something wrong, these medievalists, these freaks, these women-hating goons need sorting out – they needed a taste

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 38: "The heroic actions of King Kebab..."

Posted on April 7, 2021 at 7:00 PM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 38:

When Hook emerges into the haze of perennial dusk that serves for London night his stomach growls and he goes to the kebab shop opposite the station. As he queues Hook witnesses an extraordinary thing. The two cha...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 37: "It's a relief to emerge into hard sunlight at the centre of the whirlwind..."

Posted on April 6, 2021 at 7:00 PM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 37:

The DLR is closed due to a security alert. It’s a relief for Hook to emerge into hard sunlight at the centre of the whirlwind that is the City. In the shade of a building resembling a root vegetable he swip...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 36: "The past isn't a foreign country, it's another world..."

Posted on April 5, 2021 at 7:00 PM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 36:

After a final drink in Molly Moggs Hook feels he’s had enough. At Leicester Square he descends into the bowels, liver spiking and weeping. When the northbound tube thrusts through, Hook hops into the quiet ...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 35: "Stomping out of the town hall he walks..."

Posted on April 5, 2021 at 5:25 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 35:

Stomping out of the town hall he walks, taking in new sights: cars skating across rooftops, yellow cranes saluting, dreary trees waving silent protests, garages and car docks and wine merchants, new apartment blo...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 34: "London, he concludes, is like youth itself: wasted on the young"

Posted on April 4, 2021 at 5:30 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 34:

The absence of money is disturbing to Hook, but also exhilarating. After all, if he doesn’t have any money, he can’t give it away, spend it, worry about how and where to put it. Everywhere he looks ex...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 33: "The London bombings presented Hook with an opportunity..."

Posted on April 3, 2021 at 6:15 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 33:

The London bombings presented Hook with an opportunity he’d never realised he was waiting for: to disappear, leave Monica and Shelley behind and follow his dreams. He’d been gone two hours when he rea...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 32: "...A child lost at night in a Siberian forest..."

Posted on April 2, 2021 at 5:05 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 32: “He turns off the TV and goes back into the living room, velvet shadow punctuated by tiny red lights and standby hums. Hook goes to the wall, pulls away a piece of card and looks over the city, feeling like a child lost at night in a Siberian forest.̶...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 31: "All the new acronyms, all spelling out the same old story..."

Posted on April 1, 2021 at 2:35 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 31:

A MILF-type woman passes between them pushing a pram, a baby in front and a two-year-old on the backboard with her long blonde hair streaming behind her like Boadicea, or Isadora Duncan, eating ice cream. The mum...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 30: "The endlessly reproducing cells of Henrietta Lacks..."

Posted on March 31, 2021 at 2:20 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 30: Nerves shredded by the cheap coke, Hook swigs vodka from the bottle and turns on the radio, tuned by fish-boy to what sounds like a pneumatic drill with less melody. Hook looks for a dial, can’t find one, remembers he’s in the digital age, presses a...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 29: "He isn't just disappearing, he's becoming illegible..."

Posted on March 30, 2021 at 2:45 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 29: “Shelley has her big pink cardie on, off to the Arctic. She’s slight, slim, like her mother, with Monica’s big blue eyes and her father’s defensive air. Her hair’s a tangle of dreadlocks and beneath the cardigan she wears a complic...

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#OutofOfficeQuotes 28: "I have a very keen sense of schadenfreude..."

Posted on March 29, 2021 at 2:30 AM

#OutofOfficeQuotes 28: “I sometimes think if we’d never met, fucked, got married, we’d have been better people.”

“You’re saying you think it would have been better if we’d never met?”

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